Saturday, February 7, 2015

Dreamless Sleep

She missed him, but not the way that she thought she would. She missed being his friend and always being able to turn to him when everything went crashing down on top of her.

She hated him for so long for not fighting for her. For not believing that she was good enough and the worst of all, she hated him for making her hurt more than she ever thought was possible.

He was her first love and now all that's left where he once was is an empty whole in her heart. He was her friend, the one that promised her the world and asked almost nothing for himself. She fell in love without knowing it. True love, or so she thought.

The things that he says and the things that he does make her believe that she's in a dream, one that she never wants to end, but all good dreams must come to an end.

She hated calling him, after they parted ways, because she could still hear the love in his voice and her heart would tell her to scream what it was feeling. But she ignored it she had to if she was going to let him go for him to be happy. She never thought she was right for him, no matter how many time him or her heart told her that she was. She was scared of everything that he wanted for and with her, but she couldn't tell him that either.

It had been four years since she had seen or talked to him. Four years of hell and she often wondered if he thought of her, if he wondered why she did what she did to keep him at arms reach and finally drive him away.

She always thought of herself as a screw up, one that doesn't deserve a first chance at anything, let alone a second one. She messed up the perfect relationship that she wanted and now all she can do is think about what she once had and wish that she could have again.


She walked alone down the middle of the street, staring up at the sky remembering all those nights warm that they would just walk the streets. She jumped when she heard, or thought she heard somebody call her name. She turned around and saw him standing there staring at her like the last four years hadn't happened.

"Josh?"

"Yes..." he paused. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, I guess it has." she looked around nervously.

He walked over to her and sat his hands on her shoulders.

"Things haven't changed..."

She shook her head.

"Can't you see that they have? We've both have changed."

"I love you!"



She woke up and looked around the room and slowly started to cry herself back to sleep again. Hopefully deep enough to have dreamless sleep.