Wednesday, February 4, 2015


I’ve never told anybody this before, but I think about him still. He was the one that got away. The one that almost was, the could have been, if we didn’t let ourselves get in the way.

He was different. He saw me in a way that nobody else had before him and no one has since. He could see through any of my defences that I would put up, even if we weren’t in the same room. He could make me see what he saw in me and more than I ever thought was possible. It scared me how quickly he fell into my life. 

I loved him back then, even if I didn’t realize it. If I did know it, I would have been too afraid to say it. Looking back I often wonder if others saw what should have been so obvious to us.

There are so many things that I would love to say to him now. But there’s just one thing stopping me...fear. I’m afraid to pour my heart out to him and to hear him tell me it’s too late.

He drove me crazy, but I loved every minute of it. We would spend hours in his car, just driving around, talking. Or listening to one of his crazy conspiracy theories. It was awkward at times, but for the most part it was perfect. It was everything that I didn’t know I was looking for. Sometimes even now, I wonder if he still thinks of me.