Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Something old...

Shivani was so desperate not to get hurt that she pulled herself away from anybody that she thought even had the potential of hurting her. Including the one that meant the most to her. She thinks of him and the times that they shared together often. She missed him more than she thought she ever would and she often wondered if she was the cause of their split. She felt like she held back too much, that she didn’t give him enough credit or that she had somehow missed on her one true love. 

This was the man that now had her not caring much about anything, so much that it hurt her. She never thought that this hurt that she was feeling would ever come from him. 

Love?

Was it really love?

Could she have really of loved him?

She never would know now. She didn’t dare try and figure it out now.

She wished that she could go back in time and unsay the things that she said. Or at least know what he was thinking about after she finished talking.

Did she say too much? Should she have held back like usual?

The words ‘I could have loved you,’ are now etched in the back of her mind. This wasn’t how she wanted the rest of her night to be spent. To be sitting there wondering if there was something that she could have done or said differently. Something that would have made him turn around and stay there with her.

There was nothing more that she could do to make him understand what she felt toward him, sometimes she didn’t even know. But for tonight she stared up at the ceiling trying to forget the pain of the day that she so desperately wished was over.